I know this may upset my PETA readership, but I have been falling asleep to the sound of tiny feet scurrying around under my dresser, and the creepiness needs to stop. I'm not sure what they're attracted to in there, since I do not live a Camp Hope cabin lifestyle (of the hit fat camp blockbuster "Heavyweights") where I hide Butterfingers and Gushers in my bedpost, as not to get caught by a coked-up Ben Stiller in a spandex unitard (though that would be amazing). So what are these little mice after?
Friendship?
A warm place to wander around in the night?
My shoes?  To build a nest in my hair?

I'm all about sharing and communal living, but the line is drawn at mini rodents. Here is what the little squatters look like:   (manacing, eh?)

Me: Yikes! Anything that doesn't involve bloodshed?
Red: These sticky sheets are effective, and super cheap. You will have to get creative about how you finish the job, though.
Me: True. I am creative.
Red: That's good.
Me: So I just lay this in their path, and wait for the tiny screams?
Red: Exactly.

It's at this moment that a girl approaches, who has clearly been eavesdropping on our scheme. She explains with wild eyes how she had a mouse problem, and she got this box that electrocutes them as soon as they walk through the tiny door. She swears by them.  The only part she didn't like was the body-disposal part, where you have to slide open the door of this electric chamber, and shake the fried corpse out into a garbage can.  YEAH RIGHT like I'm going to do that. I thank her for the recommendation. Red and I make eye contact and he gives me a knowing nod. That was out of my torture range, and wildeyes clearly had some other issues besides mice. Like bloodlust.
But I like her enthusiasm.

Me: Lets go with the glue sheets.
Red: Good choice. Their the cheapest, too.
Me: I also need a two-by-four, for when they're stuck.
Red: Now you're talking.
Me: I'm kidding. I need it to prop up a shelf.

So now it's the waiting game. I put in earplugs last night, just in case one got stuck and made distress noises. That's the kind of sound that could haunt a person for life. So could getting stuck on a sheet of glue that wasn't there before as you're walking a well-worn path in the dark. Whatev.

But Red also warned me that if you don't throw the sheet out after it snatches one up, then they will start to smell. And since I have houseguests on the way up from DC as I type this, I had better ball up and shine a tiny flashlight under there, and see what's going on.

This is what I am likely to find: