Since I started scootering around New York City, there are new social norms that I live by. They have replaced the old "don't lick the subway pole" and "if the platform is crowded that must mean a train will be arriving soon."

My new norms:
1. Gypsy cabs have no rearview or sideview mirrors
2. Adult asian men admire my scooter like a sculptor admires strong forearms.
3. Don't let some whacked out vet in jersey pump the 1.8 gallons of premium gas for you, no matter what that law says.
4. Homeless people will ask you for a ride. Every single one. Always.
5. You live your life on the front lines of the universe now, at up to 65 miles per hour. That means birds, land gypsies, garbage, fumes, reggaetone blaring from a minivan, all of it. And I love it.

You know things are rough in life when you wake up gorgeous Saturday morning in August and the first thing you do is straighten up your pajamas in the mirror and walk a block and a half to the Pavillion movie theatre for the 10:30am debut matinee of Eat Pray Love. (see previous entries about my strong feelings and devotion to this memoir).

But that's where I'm at right now, emotionally. I didn't realize it at the time, but I hadn't fully laughed in days. Real, best-friend-is-impersonating-the-plaintiff-on-People's-Court laughing. Only realizing it was gone after it returns (like a dead grandparent).

What made me laugh, was this: I was scootering toward the Manhattan Bridge to cross over the east river and have one of those "I heart New York moments" that I get, routinely, when I cross the bridge ON A SCOOTER, when up from the stagnant water in the construction zone flew a pigeon. A dirty, sad, one-of-a-million pigeon, had taken flight. And it was flying alongside me, at the same speed and eye level, and next to my scooter. I wailed with laughter, and couldn't believe my eyes, I was flying with the birds! This is what it felt like! He aimed his beak skyward and tapered off to go pick at some Popeye's chicken remains, and that was it.

Lesson learned.

Even the shittiest birds can fly.