One of my favorite things to do at work is go through the ridiculous catalogs that somehow make it into print.
My fave: What on Earth.
Yes, it's called that, because WHAT ON EARTH are these things that you are selling, and WHO are the crazy cat ladies and sassy grandmas and library book enthusiasts that are ordering your products?
 Click here to be amazed at their offerings.

In this Holiday 2009 issue, What on Earth is selling boyfriends for $20.

Not loving, human, 6 foot tall boyfriends with brown hair and the cutest smile ever who are  hilarious and brilliant and into Bruce Springsteen and are fun to hang out with and who love flavored coffee and pumpkin spiced baked goods, and who bring me iced tea and flowers in the middle of the day just because he's the sweetest man on the planet.
No.

They are selling the kind that will put their polyester-stuffed arm around you, and make you feel safe and secure while watching re-runs of Gilmore Girls. You'll feel protected in the way that only a stuffed torso with one prosthetic arm can make you feel.
Never again will we have to watch TV "alone," or feel like you're all alone in this crazy, lonely, one-arm-less world.

With:  THE MANPILLOW

If you've always been more of a "Lieutenant Dan type of girl" rather than running man Forrest Gump - your wait is over.  Now you can have that legless man in your bed, on your couch, or riding next to you in shotgun.

Here is the creepy description that promises women that this manpillow will do everything that REAL boyfriends won't. Like care about our feelings or TV show preferences.
Amazing:

ALL THE STUFF YOU'D NEVER HEAR FROM A REAL BOYFRIEND.

Breathtaking.

Also: IMPORTED FROM WHERE?! I need to know what customs and social norms he is used to, and what kind of food I can cook for us now that we'll be spending all these nights in on the couch, cuddling.